Volume 2 Issue 4

In Pursuit of Peak Performance

Self-esteem is the essence of life; a belief in self built on all our experiences, whether positive or negative. The first 5 years of life, known as the formative years, is the period when we are most impressionable. It is the time when we learn our values, beliefs, and behaviours from the people we trust most and with whom we feel secure: our parents. As we absorb their teachings, the information becomes deeply ingrained in us.

One of the aspects that makes life interesting is that we are all different from one another. Yet, despite our uniqueness, we are expected to live together as a society. How well we get along with others, our happiness, our health, and how well we do in life fundamentally comes back to what we feel about ourselves: our self-esteem.

SELF-ESTEEMING
Self-esteeming refers to our experiences. Simply put, self-esteeming is whatever is put into or taken out of our self-esteem. Positive experiences build up our self-esteem, while negative ones tear it away. When our self-esteem is positive, we feel good and are able to listen, grow, and take risks. When it is negative, we retreat, are defensive and fearful of taking risks. We become closed to experiences, avoid conflict, distrust others, and stop growing.

From a management perspective, it should be obvious that we must strive to provide our employees with consistent positive experiences rather than negative ones. The suggestion is not to avoid dealing with difficult or compromising situations with our employees. Quite the contrary. What we need to do is focus on extracting positive experiences from negative situations. We need to develop self-esteeming relationships.

The following example illustrates how a negative situation can result in a positive or self-esteeming experience.

You have noticed that one of your employees is habitually late coming back from breaks. As a manager, you recognize that the consequences of uncorrected behaviour will quickly begin to escalate. Your obligation is to speak with this employee to stop this situation from recurring.

What happens if you criticize, attack verbally, or threaten the employee with negative consequences?

When that approach is taken, what you manage to do is create a negative experience from a negative situation. This is not an example of a self-esteeming relationship but rather one of blatant managerial malpractice.

The key to successful resolution of this conflict is to avoid turning a professional conflict into a personal one, regardless of the way you feel about the person. Remain calm, objective, and above all, respectful. Start by communicating your observations to the employee. "I have noticed that you are often late coming back from breaks." Focus on understanding the reasons for the tardiness. "Can you tell me the reasons for your lateness?" Make sure you listen, as there may be some valid reasons. Then communicate your expectation. "It is important to me, the department and the company that everyone respects working hours. If I avoid speaking with you about this, I'm simply not doing my job and I'm telling you, although in a silent way, that it's okay for you to keep coming late. Do you understand my point of view?" Then ask for a commitment. "Can I count on you to be back on time from breaks from now on?" This approach has allowed you to extract a positive experience from a negative situation.

Self-esteeming relationships are founded on mutually respectful partnerships between our employees and us. Healthy and functioning, these synergistic or collaborative relationships are based on trust, honesty, and effective two-way communication. Self-esteeming relationships help our employees improve their self-esteem and increase their commitment, which ultimately result in better organizational performance.

Sources of self-esteeming experiences

There are many ways to help improve our employee's self-esteem. The main ones are:

Recognition - commending your employees on a job well done through praise, rewards and positive feedback. The more you recognize your people's efforts and achievements, the motivated they will be to keep 'doing it right'.

Involvement - solicit input from your employees when problem solving and making decisions. They will feel valued as contributors.

Effective communication - treat others the same way you want to be treated; with respect and dignity. Respectful treatment of others facilitates trust, credibility, and fosters positive relationships.